I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello! Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes that you want to read this post! You want to see an anchorman battle a jazz artist ghost! Well, you've come to the right place, if you do! Welcome to the third episode of Courage the Cowardly Rap Battles! Today it's Velvet Vic versus The Nowhere Newsman in a Rap Battle to see who the better media character is...You know...Cause there's only two of them? Well, if you don't like it, that's cool. I get that. But you're wrong. And I hate you. If you did enjoy it, then ignore my last sentence...Especially the "I hate you" part. Idonthateyoupleasedontgo! Well, I hope you enjoy it!
Whoevervoiced Himoriginally as Velvet Vic
John R. Dilworth as Nowhere Newsman
COURAGE THE COWARDLY RAP BATTLES!
Velvet Vic has arrived to bring defeat to this dumb man!
I'm a Jazz artist; You're just a lousy anchorman!
I ain't playin' around, bub! Defeating you is my new mission,
So let's just get one thing straight: You can't defeat this apparition!
You give the intro of the show, but nobody cares!
You're just an ugly waste of space who's fame is going Nowhere!
Turn on the record player if you want a true opponent!
I'm stepping into this battle; I won't just win it, I'll own it!
We interrupt this program to bring you "Your Defeat!"
I'll film myself crushing you and air it on TV!
Let's be honest, as a villain, you were borderline useless!
It isn't much of an achievement that your biggest fan was Eustace!
This just in, a washed-up flop of an artist thinks he'll win!
I had this battle won before the announcer said "Begin!"
You're the reason everyone hates Jazz and you know it's true!
Sad to say that Muriel would make a better foe than you!
Alright, you're making me mad, you puke-green suit wearing fool!
You think you're a huge character but your existence is minuscule!
Your slender body can't withstand my rhymes that hit like a brick!
Just leave because no way for you to best Velvet Vic!
I'm shutting off the record player cause I don't want you around!
I'll take your weirdly-shaped face and stomp you into the ground!
You're the worst thing to happen to Jazz since segregation!
Based on your suit, it seems like you're compensating for something!
COURAGE *the logo spins around as if on a record player for a couple seconds* THE COWARDLY RAP BATTLES!
Check out more battles from me!
|Season 1:||Le Quack vs The Space Chicken - Space Whale vs Sand Whale - Velvet Vic vs Nowhere Newsman - Katz vs Mad Dog - Box Demon vs Mattress Demon - Courage's Parents vs Muriel & Eustace - Good Empress vs Evil Empress - Robot Randy vs Mecha-Courage - TBA - TBA - TBA - TBA - TBA - TBA - Season Finale|